fuzzy logic

to the utter ruin of humankind, the worst of us sits upon thrones dictating the course of history, steering callously with absolute disregard for those whose lives they carry. fie! that we live in an oblivion of our own making with those at well-laid tables scoffing the simplicity of bread and butter. to them i my tongue hold for i too am fallible and i too am responsible. shoulder your own you swine that leeches off the poor who keep a goat and a kid apart so that a child might live. who are we to judge one on the right to live? who’s to say a child has more the right to live than an animal?  i say life cannot be measured but perhaps those who are closed have no measure for empty their souls and vacant their eyes.

i do not cry at movies. fiction elicits no tears. “we feed the world” changed my inclination. it disturbed me to see the pain and suffering we put nature through and feel no remorse, seek no recourse to the betterment of all instead of fat cats sitting on a wall. wherein this world heads i fear the worst. that humanity has but reduced itself to the poor cousins of pus and still we fester and stew in this farce. 

haven’t stopped in so long. am feeling the strains of this activity-based existence. hope my knees do not buckle. you might be right about him. i’m lost. this confusion compounds the problem of having fallen. so from a i move to b then to c and then back to a again. the world spins on its axis and i implore it to stop. space and time i have not to think. my mind has yet to catch up with the flurry of this life. please do not let me wake to a nightmare. i implore thee.  and so i am falling down the rabbit hole again. know not where i might land nor if anything should break my fall. my heart feels nothing or have i not allowed it to feel that i know not anymore when it beats? i do not know.  

never imagined that i could fall in so many ways, all at once. cannot breathe, tis killing me and will not be snuffed in so banal a manner. will not be snuffed out at all. who am i? what am i doing? wherein am i headed? how does one know what one feels? too many games i play in my head. stop. perhaps if i lay it out on the table i might see better i might know better. of what i know not. perhaps it is all i need. to see. 

fie! of all days to fall. nay i lie. i need to fall if anything to find myself to know how to catch myself. perhaps it will all work out. perhaps i’ll meet the cheshire cat who taunts with his grin and befuddles with his words. perhaps the mad hatter so i might work this out. fuzzy logic is perhaps not so fuzzy after all.

~ by mavj on May 29, 2009.